Heaven on Earth

by Joan Friedlander

This October my Grandmother and Mother-in-Law died within 2 weeks of each other and in the wake of their passing I'm surprised to find that I'm most struck by the beauty of each day and feel the most sadness about the end of their worldly experience. My Grandmother loved to "qvell" (yiddish for brag-about, or something like that) about her grandchildren - though she lived near none of us and often drove us nuts with her advice. She loved shopping and wildly colorful clothing, died her hair red until the day she died and was loyal to her close circle of friends. She immigrated from Poland when she was a teenager and seemed afraid of many things, like driving.

My Mother-in-Law loved her children and grandchildren with a generous heart. She would do anything for them. She embraced anyone they brought home and make them feel welcome, myself included. She loved to tend her garden, watch hummingbirds, bake cookies, do crossword puzzles and watch a good British mystery. She would have been a sailor if born a man and in another time. Her husband died 40 years ago and she wore his wedding ring until they had to cut it off her just 10 days before she died. I took that as a sign.

I find myself a little more grateful than usual for the gift of my human experience, especially for the people in my life and the pure beauty on our planet. I've always loved a good sunset. Now I see it knowing that these women won't again, not in this way.

Every Moment, Every Day, Every Week, Every Year Counts

I can't help but think that we all could take a page from those who have gone before us and realize that our worldly journey is a finite one and worth enjoying. Of course we want to make money, be wonderfully successful, and buy toys that help us enjoy life. I do! It's part of the game that we've created for ourselves. We also want to love madly and leave a legacy, knowing our lives mattered. But maybe we'd better not wait until someday to appreciate life, no matter what it looks like today.

Recipe for a little heaven on Earth

1. It starts with gratitude and appreciation. It doesn't matter if this year was amazing or less than stellar. If you take an hour to look back at your accomplishments, reviewing anything that will remind you of what you've done, you can't help but find yourself swimming in gratitude. If you tend to appreciate others more than you, please turn that same love on yourself. You deserve it!

2. Get Focused, Take Action. The New Year is the most powerful time to set your intentions for the following year. It's a great time to revisit your purpose and evaluate your alignment with what you're here for. We've designed it that way. It's our human-made time for reflecting and planning. By all means, take advantage of it.

3. Put it Down in Writing. Whatever you can imagine has more power when you put it in writing. Develop realistic, yet exciting, goals and intended outcomes. Stretch yourself a bit and allow yourself to commit to at least one major life-dream. (Two of mine are becoming a paid, published freelance journalist and spending a week with dolphins.) Take your goal-setting one step further. Write out an action plan, detailing what you need to do to accomplish your goals.

4. How will you be different this year? Significant change usually requires a shift in how you act and respond to what life throws at you and what you dish out. When you review your goals and intentions for 2006, ask yourself how you'll need to BE in order to accomplish them. Often shifting how you approach life has more impact than what you do.

5. Eliminate what no longer fits. There's nothing that wastes your energy more than projects and commitments that no longer fit. You do evolve and what was important in the past may have served its purpose well. Much like death, whenever you retire the old you make room for the new. Do so with honor. Everything and everyone deserves your respect and appreciation.

I appreciate you. Without you, I'd have no one to write to.

 

by Joan Friedlander, © 2005. All rights reserved.